On Conversation and Dialog

Well, it seems I have more life lessons in me than I planned this week, but I think it’s important to let the things flow out as they bubble up.

Yesterday, I mentioned the value of milestones and their smaller sibling, the breadcrumb. I received a few comments from different people that know me - some online and some offline. My favorite, and part of why I love the guy so much, was from Bre Pettis. I got a call from Bre around 5PM as he was heading home. He really could relate to what I wrote, but, more importantly, he cared what happened.

Naturally, I gave him the complete low-down and he fully understood. The most challenging part of yesterday’s post was weaving it into a lesson, avoiding it’s more natural posture as a rant. Anyway, Bre made a great comment: “Milestones are for passing, nothing else.” I agree wholeheartedly.

But today - I want to talk about dialog. I don’t mean it in the “blogging is conversation” approach - I am talking about the good old fashioned version where people talk to each other, sometimes even face to face. It’s another one of those critical building blocks to life.

Last week, it’s clear that the progress we made really can only be attributed to our ability to communicate our ideas to each other. I don’t care what 37 Signals says about meetings, I’ll never turn down the opportunity to really explain something to one of my partners. I’ve yet to find that talking it through has led to a worst product - though I’ve seen plenty of instances where the lack of it has led to complete chaos.

But there’s another kind of dialog that’s, really, more important. It’s the dialog that happens between people, not partners. It’s the dialog, often unspoken, that’s communicated between two people when they share something - an interest, a passion, a history. This dialog is what sustains us. Without it, our milestones are meaningless. Though we may reach some designated position, we need to talk to each other to contextualize it, to give it the proper weight.

Ultimately, only one rule prevails in these types of dialogs - say it like it is and say it as soon as possible. Last week, I learned just what happens when too too much time passes without dialog. I suppose it’s not the first time I’ve had this reminder, and it most likely won’t be the last, but in the spirit of appreciating those pesky milestones, I’m making note of it.

Are there conversations you’ve neglected? What would happen if you had them? What will happen if you never do?